Sunday, October 25, 2009

No Sex in the Champagne Room

I havent had sex in a month.. And I have been trying everything in my possible will to try to make sure that I dont reach that amount of time with no sex. But I have. Now I have mixed feelings about this. One I feel like my powers to get men for sex is dying. Instead they all want to try being in a relationship. I dont want no relationship. I want some penis. And secondly Im a little happy that I havent gotten any because Divine will be WONDERFUL condition when the time comes. But Ive been thinkin about how I ve been acting and reacting since this month stuff started and I have to say some things have subconsiouly changed.

One- I am more irritable than ever. EVERYTHING and EVERONE just pisses me off. Im quick to want to cuss out every and any body for no simple reason. I prolly need to start working out more often because twice a week isnt long enough for a release. People use to always tell me "you should work out instead of having sex, you'll feel alot better". Guess what? I dont. My magical powers to size up a man with one glance is still working full throttle and once that image is in my mind, its hard to let go. I get on the elliptical and ride it til my legs hurt. Only to think that my legs would feel the same way if I was riding a dick.

Two- I have regressed to middle school days. I have wet dreams and I draw penis' all over my notebook in class. I have a bunch of pink veiny penis' on my notes for Motor Learning because there is this one boy in my class that I am trying to smash to all high heaven. But since he never comes to class, I cant lay my mack down. So I sit and imagine. I imagine about all the good days of quality penis I will hopefully be recieving in the future. But for some reason the inside of me says that that day will never come.

Three- All these men trying to wife me up have officially gotten on my bad side. I refuse to have sex with someone who is trying to go down the relationship road with me. So after all the cooking, dating, sweet talking, flirting, and no sexing I get confused and angry. Naturally at this point we should be fucking. But since Im not going there with him, Divine is all kinds of pissed and passing the anger to my brain. Now I notice things that get on my nerves that never used to bother me anymore. I dont want to have 17hr text convo's. I dont want to hear your corny jokes. I just want dick and since Im not getting from you, Divine feels like your wasting our time.

Now you may thing Divine shouldnt run your life. But you have to remember that Divine ran the show for about two years and had a freakin blast. Now that her days are numbered and my brain in my head and not in my pants is trying to take over Im going through this turmoil. Im really trying hard to learn certain lessons. Like appreciating a man for him respecting my no sex rule, even thoguh he's going through the same thing as me. Or for him showing me how relationship is supposed to begin and then end versus putting the good shit first and then falling off later. Or enjoying my workouts because I just got a compliment on how good my legs looked the other day. Im really trying to enjoy this no sex phase AKA drought, that Im going through. But Im sure I would not make it if I didnt have internet porn and Virginia. I probably would have killed myself by now.

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